For that matter, WTF is a Hoosier?

#2 Michigan Wolverines

v.


#15 Indiana Hoosiers

Wolverines

Description: A large, land-dwelling nasty smelling weasel, also commonly known as a skunkbear.

Weapons: Powerful jaws, claws.

Advantages: A thick hide, and no fear of even much larger animals.

Disadvantages: No fear of even much larger animals.

Hoosier

Description: A hillbilly, basically?

Weapons: pitchfork, rifle, shotgun

Advantages: Not known for intelligence per se, but at least moderately more intelligent than your average animal. Some hunting experience.

Disadvantages: Clumsiness or awkwardness.

The Fight
The Hoosier heads out looking for some grub, rifle in hand. Just as he gets to the edge of the forest, he sees what he thinks is a skunk (by the nasty smell), and shoots it, hoping to get something to eat with his corn for dinner. As he fires, he steps into a gopher hole, and takes a chunk out of a tree, pissing off the varmint. Hobbling on a twisted ankle, the Hoosier turns back towards the barn, hoping to get some ice for his swelling ankle.
The wolverine, none too happy about nearly being shot, and chases after the unwary Hoosier. Just as the Hoosier gets to the door of his barn, the wolverine pounces on the Hoosier, who grabs his pitchfork as he is taken to the ground. He tries to stab the nasty smelling pest, but scratches over the thick hide, in the process skewering his own left arm. Howling in pain, he leaps to his feet while the wolverine continues to tear at the Hoosier's throat. The Hoosier tries to drown the wolverine in the nearby trough, but instead he slips and falls into the thresher, taking the tenacious Wolverine with him.

Winner
Both sides destroyed, forfeit the next round.